Silly Queen

9:21 PM

Sunday, February 15, 2009

For the ladies. . .
Just to share a book that i read not long ago:

Women love DETAILS but guys want BIG PICTURE.. Women love to ask qtns like 'Hows ur day? Wad are you thinking about right now?" and it drives men crazy and they get defensive..

Women ask questions and tries desperately to get the man to open up. SHe's the CrowBAR.. the Men resists her attempts and does not open up. he shuts down and pulls in. He's the ClaM..

Women pry, prod and probe for info from men cos they want closeness in a relationship (their no.1 priority). Without closeness, they have nothing, are not happy and satisfied. (anyway, i think that applies only to women who likes to 'stick' with their partner all the time.) Women are taught to develop connection, openness, understanding which all are related to closeness.

Men want control (no. 1 priority). Men are taught to develop these qualities like respect, status, strength, power and independence. they are taught not to express their feelings and thoughts. (so true) they gotta be cool under pressure, gotta be calm in a crisis and they gotta be in control .. ( true true true!!! )

Women should try to drop their crowbar, dun try so hard to get into the clam. the harder u push, the tighter they close. When a woman is invading into the man's PERSONAL SPACE, naturally, the man moves away.. So, women need to be the ones to move, dun pull back too far, dun ignore, dun leave the relationship, just move away enough to give him some room. Get a LIFE outside him cos he cant MEET all of ur needs even on his best day.

Pulling back from man is good. All ladies should make urself someone to win back. maybe get the guy back to pursuit mode.

Women share and Men suppress their personal information. Women are in touch with their thoughts, feelings, reactions, pain, hopes and dreams whereas Men are not in touch. Men retreat, programmed to withdraw and process wad's inside ALONE. they dun find a person to talk to and when doing processing, they do it totally and completely alone.

Women must learn to live with silence if they want to live in peace and intimacy with a man. Dun fire questions at him, dun keep talking, let a few mins of silence go by and it gives the man a chance to process and respond.

Women have dignity, poise, composure when he needs time alone. Dun STOP him from having time alone. (guys will get mad and want to get away). Dun wait while he's thinking, cos if u do, it shows tat u have no life and just adding more pressure on the man.

A Man cant stand pressure to talk as that will drives him crazy and drives him as far away from you. Act as if u dun awfully care much if he responds to what you have said.

Rem, U are the cool, calm, confident woman. Remember, he wont talk even if he feels sorry for you, he wont talk just because you want him to, he wont talk, not even a little bit, if he feels pressured by your impatient silence and body language. He'll talk when he's good and ready. he'll talk to a woman he respects and to a woman who gives him SPACE and time to process..